you make me sad.. well, i guess you don’t make me sad.
you make me so happy that i get scared of you not being in my life anymore.
that’s what makes me sad.
every night i have the same dream. im walking down the aisle to speak for someone at their funeral. that someone just so happens to be you. i look over and the memorial book of your life sits there.
not as shiny as you.
the air has a staleness. a dull sorrow.
i feel a warmth walk up to me and put a hand on my shoulder after i cried and spoke of the silly, yet meaningful moments of us.
i hear a voice, just loud enough for me to hear: it’s you.
your voice that melts and slips through my mind faster than you left. i smell your scent. all the little things that i noticed separately and then all at once, left the room. you followed.
i wake up in a panic. stiffening muscles in my leg to remind me of the night mare.
finally i tell you about what keeps me up at night, why it hurts to smile at you..
as much as i want you to understand, you wont.
you can tell me about how we’re young and how we have time.. but all the time in the world wouldn’t be enough. because you are my world. and i am the clock.
im a broken clock that ticks too slow and never tells the right time. but when im with you i seem to catch up. i make good use of the time on earth.
you make me a better person. and without you, i’d have a different role in the world: lowering you into the ground and following. you leading the way.